just say yes

“Do not be too timid and squeamish about your actions. All life is an experiment. The more experiments you make the better. What if they are a little coarse and you may get your coat soiled or torn? What if you do fail, and get fairly rolled in the dirt once or twice? Up again, you shall never be so afraid of a tumble.”

― Ralph Waldo Emerson



I remember reading this quote at some point in my teens.  I was at a vulnerable place...not totally sure of myself, not sure who I really was or where I was going, but this quote struck a chord with me.  It's one of those things that I've looked back on many times.  It's something I often turn to when I'm trying to decided if I should venture out of my comfort zone, try something new, or head into uncharted territory.

Usually the answer to these questions is yes.

In today's society there is so much fear.  We are taught to find the safest route, to plan for the worst, and take all the precautions.   While this route of living my keep you safe and sound, I'd argue that it also leads to so many people missing out on the raw beauty of really living as well.  It can limit your 'experiments'.

Children are indoctrinated to "just say no".   Although, I'm not going to argue that it's not an important skill to learn (it certainly is),  I'd like to make the point that the ability and confidence to say YES is just as important.

A friend, former co-worker, and amazing woman I know recently left to spend a couple of months overseas.  She's traveling to several different countries and seeing a few friends a long the way.  A good portion of her time will be spent alone; in some areas that a less adventurous soul might think of as unsafe.  Some people that have gotten word of this trip have been thrilled for her, others... well, they just think it's crazy (and maybe a little stupid).   There were many steps she had to take to make this trip happen, so many opportunities to say no, to take the safe route; but she had the courage to say yes!  I guarantee that she will come back having seen and experienced new things... she will be changed.  These 'experiments' mold us closer and closer to who we wish to me.

Not all of these experiments are going to be multi-month long trips overseas.  They can be little, but they can still change you.

A couple of weeks ago a friend called me on a Saturday evening.  The hotel where she worked was hosting a large event and they had a couple of waitresses cancel at the last minute.  She asked if I would consider helping them out by waiting tables for the evening.  I've never worked in a restaurant in my life; the extent of my knowledge has been gained only by being on the paying end of the bill.  A more reasonable person would have looked at the situation and probably said, "no thanks".    My initial internal response was something not too far off of that.   In the spirit of full disclosure, I quickly brought my friend up to speed on my qualifications: zero.  Her response, "That's fine, you'll do great." After a moment of hesitation, the above quote came to mind.  Why not do this?  It's one more grain of sand I can throw into my pile of 'experiments'.  So after a quick change of clothes, off I went.  And ya know what?  It was great.  I wasn't the best server ever, the tips weren't crazy good, and my feet hurt at the end of the night...but it was wonderful.  I walked away from that with yet another reminder that I am capable of more than I think I am.  I just have to trust myself...and say yes!

Recently I took my very first retail job, working at one of my favorite clothing stores.  I hear so many people rag on retail jobs, but I've never held one.  I was worried that I might not be good at it.  I was worried that it might not work with my schedule.  I was worried that I would let someone down.  There were lots of reasons to say no...but I choose to say yes.  Who knows, I might love it.

At the end of the day you will never know unless you try.

So...
If a friend calls you and asks you to go on a last minute road trip... say yes!
If you are offered a new food that looks weird... try it!
If you get the chance to windsurf, or skydive, or cliff jump... do it!
If life presents you with the opportunity to try something new (if you at all can)... grab it by the horns and go along for the crazy ride.


It's been years since I first heard the quote above, but it seems the older I get, the more I turn to it.  In some ways I feel like I'm still that insecure girl.  I still don't feel as confident as I'd like, I still question who I am and what I'm doing with my life.  That being said,  I have learned that the more experiences I have, the happier I am.  They don't have to be big, or beautiful or even really all that good.  They just have to be different.  Through all of this I have learned there is one thing that I am sure of:

I rarely regret saying yes.